Four separate stories, four different lives in the wake of the perfect storm. The choices we make are building the new face of humanity. Each day we struggle to survive. No more news, no Hollywood and no political finger pointing. Now the lights are out, water stopped running, this is Our World
Connor is growing so fast. It is in adversity that we take our greatest steps. That line sounded way to prophetic. This writing stuff must be rubbing off well on Mr. O’Leary. Through the walk today I heard whispers about “AID”. Not sure what that is or if its edible but I would like to find out. Just cant figure out from who. More over who is going to divvy it out? I will keep an ear out and hopefully get my hands on something that could make this hell a little more bearable.
Today has been tough. I miss my wife. I miss my old life. I often wonder why some people are built to run hurdles from the day they are born and others appear to just be able to make it fine coasting in the right lane. If anything I have realized that “fair” is a mythical principal created by governments and authorities. In reality some of us just have it harder than others. I don’t mean to bitch but hell this is my journals so why not.
A lot of our world fell apart trying to make things “fair”. Wars, debt and crime all in the pursuit of this exotic belief that we could bend the will of the universe and physics to create something that is simply impossible. I’m just pissed tonight. This entry was more for me than whoever finds this shitty old book once I die.
I found an old shard of mirror today. Womans worst nightmare right. Stuggling for food and fighting off dirty, hungry, horney men pales in comparison to seeing your reflection after months of barely washing. You really do forget what Febreeze and deodorant was all about but the visual is something that shocked me. My hair was ratty, i knew that. So I cut it off. All of it. Short now just above my eyes. Makes more sense to me. I am a sleek girl so maybe I will blend in with the other men without the long red hair.
Who would recognize me now? Even if I made my way back home. Who would know me and who would I know. For god’s sake I dont even know me anymore. I am sitting in a dentists waiting room in a sleeping bag surround by homemade C-4. This is real life now. The changes I am forced to make both on myself and those around me. I used to be up all night on my desktop playing Counterstrike with friends. Using weapons and explosives…never would have thought I would be fashioning my own someday. Scary.
Bags under the eyes. Crows feet. Dry skin. Every beauty care commercial you could imagine is happening on my sun blistered face. I don’t feel pretty on any level. The cool thing is though. I really dont need to either. It’s really almost a positive at this point!
If you have never danced with a Latin woman, been kissed by a Latin woman and been loved by a Latin woman your heart is clueless, my friend. Enercita was fire. The American boys all used to say the mexican girls were fiery. They fought over boys and loved the whole night long. If only they knew what it was to love a Latin woman. Enercita was my heart. She was everything a good man deserved and more. I couldn’t commit because I wasn’t a good man and she deserved better.
Working all damned night, we would finish up and head to the club. Not the bubbly pop club or tough guy hip hop clubs. No. Enercita wanted no parts of American pop culture after a long day at work. She wanted to dance close and hold one another. Dance Salsa and Meringue until the sun came knocking. If we were off the next day than we would make love well into the morning. I would wake up to the smell of papusas and she would smile at me when I stumbled out into the kitchen.
I was never a one woman man. I worked late. Got drunk and did stupid things for the majority of my life. Enercita knew I would not change and so she held onto me for as long as she could. There really is one person out there for all of us. Not just one person to fall in love with and have a great life. I don’t believe that. But there is one option amongst all those others that if you link up and the time is right your life will be exceptional.
Spent most of the day putting together a pack for this trip. Not sure where to go but I have some ideas. The biggest deal will be getting out of here without giving away the shelter. In fact, getting back could be even tougher at least here I can keep an eye on them. Things are moving slowly up top for our band of thieves but they are persistent. Still not moving on.
I will leave and return in the early morning. These guys like to sleep in. I will have two-way walkie with my wife though I am not sure how the signal will travel from under so much earth or if we will even have a signal by time I get to the end of the block. Either way I am coming back, my daughter will have her medicine.
They have been digging over by a large Elm in my yard it appears something has peaked their interest over there. They are not the bunch of workhorses. Its been two days and between three men they may have dug a three-foot trench about five feet wide. The elm is close to one of our exhaust pipes. It is built into a large rock but if they dig in that direction they could run into the pipe. It would give us away. With me not around it will be up to my wife to make the decision. If they do find something her only option may be to flee in the night as well. With two kids, one sick, it would not be an easy adventure.